Hanging NPR in Effigy - III

NPR Doesn’t Always Tell the Truth

“You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.” –Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865.

In my defense of National Public Radio I have been very critical of the far right-wing media and their infidelity to the truth, especially their dalliances with such floozies as the “birther” nonsense. I have pooh-poohed Faux News’s claim to be “fair and balanced” while praising NPR for being “extremely fair to all points of view, bending over backwards to give every side a voice.”

Well, I have to admit I once caught NPR in an intentional lie.

I was working 68 miles away from my home, and Morning Edition and All Things Considered were welcome companions on my daily commute. I was able to track down the All Things Considered program to which I refer: it was aired on April 1, 2005, and you can listen to it here: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4571982.

I know I risk giving fodder (good grief, I have to stop using these horse metaphors!) to those who would like to tear NPR apart, but I can’t withhold the truth.

The trusted, mellifluous tones of All Things Considered host Robert Siegal informed me of a real crisis occurring in the forests of New England. He said maple syrup sales were at an all-time low because of calorie-conscious consumers and foreign competition. Then he told me something about sugar maple trees that I didn’t know:

“Untapped maple trees can explode like gushers causing injury and sometimes death. If untended, quiet stands of nature’s sweetness can turn into spindly demons of destruction.”

He explained that the depressed market for the syrup had caused tree owners to neglect tapping their trees – with dire consequences:

“The Vermont Health Board reports 87 fatalities, 140 maimings, and a dozen decapitations from sap-buildup explosions this year. That’s the highest ever.”

I should explain that I live in New Mexico, where there are few sugar maple trees, if any. I’ve visited New England, but only in the summer, long after the sap-tapping season. So that night, I brought up the subject to my girlfriend, who once lived in Maine.

“Oh,” I said. “I learned something today on NPR that I didn’t know. I’m sure you’re familiar with it, but I never knew that if you don’t tap sugar maple trees they explode!”

My girlfriend is something of a skeptic anyhow, but the look she gave me reflected more than skepticism. She pointedly asked me if I knew what the date was.

I must have been daydreaming or looking at the scenery as the story continued, or I might have figured it out for myself. Mr. Siegal explained that the maple syrup industry has been hurt “by a cheaper syrup knock-off from, of all places, the islands of the South Pacific. Here in Venoboff, formerly Danish Samoa, workers are making a cheaper maple syrup substitute. It’s called table syrup. They saw apart used maple tables, chairs, knickknacks. The expense of importing these pieces of furniture halfway around the world is more than made up for by abundant cheap labor, by the lack of unions, health care, government oversight.”

Danish Samoa? Don't expect NPR to tell the truth all the time. Not on the First of April, anyway.